Love and Marriage

I first felt called to be a chaplain of the Calgary Fire Department after coming to Christ and having a heart for marriages. See, marriages in the CFD among other like-service careers are generally murder on marriages. We have a much higher divorce rate than your average person. The reasons? Fire, police and EMS generally attract "A" type personalities who are strong willed, have strong personalities, and tend to dominate or lead. In our fallen condition, we are all selfish at our cores, but with the "A" types we tend to be even worse, and when we don't get our own way, if we don't feel satisfied, we tend to look for that satisfaction elsewhere which leads all to often to divorce. One of the major reasons for divorce is the idea that the couple has "fallen out of love." This is a gross misunderstanding of what love is.

Love is mistaken for lust, happiness, and other positive feelings. Feelings are fleeting, they change from one day to the next, from one season to the next. Love is an ACTION. We act by service, commitment and sacrifice to those that we are called to love (which is everyone). When it comes to our wives or husbands, we are going to have times when we don't feel particularly happy or close to them (anyone married longer than 2 years knows this all too well). Love has NOTHING to do with feeling, but everything to do with compassion for another. Feelings come and go, but with steadfast dedication to sacrificial serving, our feelings of closeness will return. The measure and test of love to God is whole-hearted obedience (John 14:15, 21, 23), the test of loving our neighbors is laying down our lives for them (1 John 3:16). If we cannot lay down our lives for our spouses, how can we lay down our lives for anyone else?

Community in our churches is so vital. If we are simply people that show up on Sunday to attend a service and leave, how will we ever come along side those that are hurting, struggling in marriages or other relationships? To do this does not show the love of God that we are supposed to be identified by. At HCRBC we ask that all potential members join a community group to love and support one another, which will go a long way to minimize the sufferings of those that are alone in life, trying to show a good front (otherwise known as "shiny-plastic"). By being in community we can love one another, support one another, help one another. We are not alone, and we all have issues.

Questions or comments? Please feel free to leave a message here, or email us privately at hillcountryreformed@gmail.com, or call us at 403-932-0519.