With our church plant getting ever-so-closer, we've had to deal with the identity of our church. I've been asked very good questions like "Why would anyone go to your church?" (I know the gentleman that asked, and it wasn't meant in a derogatory fashion, he was really asking "What is going to be different about your church?"...or at least that's how I interpreted it!) Great question! Indeed, why WOULD anyone go to the new church? Well, one major difference is children and youth ministry.
When you look at the vast majority of churches today, they pretty much all follow the same pattern. When you walk in the door, the children go upstairs (or down), the teens go to the room with the ping-pong table in it, the college aged go to another room, and then the adults go to yet another room (or two). In each of these rooms you have a variety of 'leaders' that volunteer their time to try to lead and teach something to each group. Generally, they mean well, and work hard getting prepared for the lesson. They do their best to engage their learners, and often at the end, break off into smaller groups to pray together. Am I right? What's the problem? No problem, unless you disagree with the methodology of discipleship, which in this case I do. You may recall in the post HATER I touched on this with regards to the youth only, but in reality it applies to the whole congregation. A half-century ago, families worshiped and prayed together, but was overcome by sociologists and psychologists that believed people needed to be with their 'peers', so the church began splitting the family with every intention of doing what's best. I feel that trend has led to disastrous results. What I believe is best for discipleship is the family unit staying together, through community groups and the entire service.
*crickets*
"But the children will be a major distraction!!!" There, I said it. How do we solve this? Most want the church to provide a place they can stick their kids in for an hour so they can relax and listen to a well-prepared sermon on 'parenting'...er...'happiness'...er...how to be a better person...er...
I believe we learn to love our neighbor and love God by being together, by worshiping together, by praying together, by living life together. Children need to see this in action, both in the church and at home. Young people need to be challenged by the pastor expositing God's Word, parents need to be challenged to actually parent, by the preaching and teaching of God's Word.
I know this is not popular, I know there are some that won't come because the children will be present in the worship service (I know this because they told me so). Does anyone else see the problem with this statement and attitude? or is it just me?
Tell me what you think, I'd love to hear from you.
Hey Chris, I think it is a problem. I agree with you, but I have found in the short time that I've pastored thus far is that families with young children won't come to church unless there is something for their kids, this is unfortunate but this is the context in which we do ministry. I love the idea of families staying upstairs for worship, that's what our church does, but we (I) have a tendency to preach only to adults, use only adult situations that only adults can relate to. The older teens can relate to some of them, and I try to use some things that they can relate to as well. It's a hard thing to balance, but unless you do something that applies to all age groups, you'll have small kids that are sleeping in the pews, teenagers that are not happy to be there, seniors that are angry because the teenager who is sitting in front of them is wearing something that they don't approve. These are things that as a pastor you have to think about. You'll hear a lot of pad answers like "just preach the Word", but we also forget that God has equipped some men and women to specifically minister to young people and children. These are just a few thoughts. If i was to give any advice I would say be consistent with what you are doing, and if it isn't working change it. You'll know if God is in if people are getting saved and growing in their faith. If that doesn't happen you have to change what you are doing. Praying for you brother!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think is the underlying reason behind the attitude of "I won't come unless there is something for my kids." comment? This statement is framed in a positive way, making it look like their concern is with the discipleship of their children, but I don't believe this is the case. I guess this is where we may differ. I think it's primarily for selfish reasons. Most could care less what their children are 'learning' in children's church, they just want an hour to themselves. Is this discipleship? Is this parenting? How can we know what their motives are? I would present you with this, how many parents ask their children about what they learned (not what they did) in children's church, and made sure to follow up the lesson during the week? How many churches have teenagers doing children's church and working in the nursery instead of hearing God's Word?
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm out to lunch (it wouldn't be the first time!), but at present I'm convinced that the methodology in churches today is not the most effective.
I agree with your response. I realize that some churches do offer a babysitting service rather than real discipleship. But there are churches that do actually teach the Bible during jr. church and in youth services. I definitely don't agree with teenagers having a separate service during the worship service. I don't think you're out to lunch at all. In fact I think you have sparked something that perhaps churches should look into and that is churches equipping Christian parents with the tools to disciple their children, I don't know just a thought.
ReplyDelete