Go put a sweater on

When my first son was born, it was in the middle of a spring snow storm.  When it was time to take him home, we had to figure out how to bundle his tiny little body into enough clothes to keep him warm the whole way.  We had tiny baby hats, itty-bitty mitts, a fleecy blanket, and a zip-up cover to go over the whole car seat.  It practically needed a degree in engineering to get him bundled in.

2 years later, he was able to start figuring out how to get his little arms and legs into his snowsuit.  I'd lay it all out, help him get everything on in the right order, inevitably have to untangle legs and arms somehow, zip up dozens of zippers, tuck mittens firmly into sleeves....  By the time we finished, it felt like I had run a marathon.

Now he's 8.  He can get himself into everything in quick time.  He still needs help tucking his mittens into his coat sleeves.  I still take responsibility to buy the snow stuff and have it ready to go for the first snow storm.  Or run out frantically to buy it when we try to put it on at the first snow storm and realize he's outgrown everything.  I'd like to pretend I'm organized and that doesn't happen, but anyone who knows me wouldn't believe it anyway.

Before you think I'm lecturing you on how to dress your kids, I'd like to imagine for a moment if I treated my 2 year old the way I treat my 8 year old.  Leave his winter clothes in a basket and let him try to figure it all out so he can go outside in the storm safely.

We wouldn't dream for a minute of not bundling out our babies for the weather.  We teach them to dress appropriately to deal with whatever they may face outside.  We build up these skills, and supervise carefully to keep them safe.  If it's not safe, the lighting comes or the snow starts whipping, we bring them inside where it's safe and dry.

In short, we provide our kids with shelter and teach them how to weather the storms outside.  We give them the tools, the knowledge, and we supervise them as they go.  We do everything we can to keep their bodies safe.

And yet, ridiculously, when I homeschool, I so often am told that I have to be careful not to shelter my child.

Let's be blunt.  The weather can throw many a storm at us, but these are nothing compared to the storms that we will go through emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.  Bullying, peer pressure, sex, drugs, cheating, teasing, the list can go on.  And as a former school teacher, let me assure you (or scare you) with the first hand knowledge that kids are expected to deal with these situation in school much earlier than parents expect.  And you can bet I'm not sending my child out to deal with those storms without a lot of tools.

My child at 5 isn't ready to deal with the bullies of the world.  When you are an adult and someone tells you that you look stupid, or takes your crayons, or laughs at you, you have the tools to deal with it - and even as an adult, it stings when someone does these things.  At 5, your heart breaks and stupid becomes the label you define yourself with.

At home, I can teach my child slowly to deal with these things.  I can give him tools, guide him, and be there to help.  It's not a matter of pretending the storms of life don't exist, it's about teaching him how to weather them.

So do I shelter my homeschooled child?  Yes.  I shelter his body from the winter storms, and I shelter the rest of him from the storms of life.  I'll teach him to weather these storms as he's ready to.  I'll build it up.  As much as I cherish his physical well-being, his emotional and spiritual well-being are even more important.  As he grows, I will teach him to depend not on me for shelter, but on God.  That he will not weather any storm alone.  To always remember Psalm 91: Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust" (verse 1-2). 

The next time you drive by the school, and see the kids bundled up for the weather, say a prayer for them.  They need so much more than a warm jacket for everything they have to deal with at such a young age.

It's not a choice for everyone, to keep their kids home.  I am so happy to have my safe, and yes, sheltered, kids here at home.  There will still be storms, but until they are ready to weather them on their own, we will go through them together.